Lightyear (2022)

Title: Lightyear (2022)
Directed By: Angus Maclane
Written By: Angus Maclane, Matthew Aldrich, Jason Headley
Release Date: June 17, 2022
Domestic Distributor: Walt Disney
Cast: Chris Evans, Keke Palmer, Peter Sohn
Rated: PG
Genre: Adventure, Kids Fiction

Box Office Information

• Budget: $200 Million
• Financed by: Walt Disney, Disney-Pixar
• Domestic Box Office Gross: $115,498,750
• Overseas Box Office Gross: $97,465,953

Synopsis

Once upon a space/time continuum, Buzz Lightyear and his gallant space ranger crew nose around an exoplanet – they are looking for any sign of intelligent plotting. But instead they meet up with a horrible tribe of ravenous cliches that destroys any chance of storyline coherence whatsoever.

Seemingly stranded forever (a feeling the audience begins to share within ten minutes of the opening credits), Buzz and his intrepid group start to monkey around with green gooey rocket fuel that will power their ship back home to mom, apple pie, and that pesky double-digit inflation that just won’t go away, now will it Mr. Biden?

This all takes place far in the future, of course; when algorithms have replaced script writers and directors. And by the end of this opus we are pretty sure some grade school arithmetic has been at work in cobbling together this film – along the lines of 2+2=5.

But back to the plot.

There’s a cat with AI that is so smart it figures out where all the missing single socks from the laundry have gone over the years. (Spoiler alert: it’s a giant black hole in New Jersey.)

Every time Buzz is slingshoted around the nearest star in his rusty spaceship in order to try for the speed of light, he comes back four years older. Or rather, everyone and everything he left behind is four years older – he and his prominent chin remain as young as ever. This is easily explained by quantum physics and the owner’s manual to a 1986 VCR player. As everyone around him ages and moves on with their lives, poor Buzz just keeps blasting off into space and remains the prisoner of his adolescent and macho mindset.

When at last the AI cat gets the formula right for speed-of-light rocket fuel, the old crowd that knew and loved Buzz Lightyear is all gone. The new crowd thinks of him as a demented fuddy-duddy and attempts to put him out to pasture. But Buzz disobeys orders (hey, just like Top Gun: Maverick!) and makes one final voyage out and back – only to find that in his absence an army of muscle-bound robots have attacked the outpost. And they are led by none other than . . . . .  gasp! An older and far more cynical Buzz Lightyear!

But everything ends well as young Buzz and his ragtag band of misfits outwit the robots and his elder evil self. Everyone finally makes it back to Earth, only to find that Domino’s Pizza now uses a cauliflower crust. So they all fly into the Sun, committing hari kari. 

Official Trailer

What went wrong?

Nothing really went wrong. Not if you just want to take your kids to a movie that will let you sleep through it in a comfy Luxury Lounger. Kids have no taste, no discernment. They’ll watch moss on a tree trunk as long as they’re kept supplied with popcorn and Coke.

But if you believe in the Disney/Pixar combine like you believe in wishing on the blue star, then it’s obvious that the backstory is attenuated and the Toy Story franchise has vacated all responsibility for original and entertaining content. 

Back stories are, by their nature, too long and involved to readily lend themselves to top flight entertainment. Unlike the flashback, which exists within a movie to explain behavior and feelings, and is often more original and wittier than the movie itself, the back story tends to get bogged down in too many details. C’mon, Pixar, we go to the movies for entertainment, not to take a quiz afterwards!

Box Office Numbers

With a production budget of some $200 million and a worldwide box office 1.1 times the production budget, Lightyear (2002) took $115,498,750 domestically and grossed $97,465,953 overseas at the box office.

Lightyear (2002) played to 4255 theaters and took $50,977,951 (43.8%of total gross) in its opening weekend.

The film played to a total of 4255 theaters domestically and took a domestic share of some 54.2%.

Having ranked 2nd in its opening weekend, Lightyear (2002) ended at 5th in its second weekend – running for a total of 5 weeks, with an average weekend domestic gross of   $115,498,750 based on a 5 weeks average run per theater.

Lightyear (2002)  was released to a total of 33 countries internationally, with the main markets being Mexico with a lifetime gross of $16,655,253, the United Kingdom, with a lifetime gross of $10,868,085, and France, lifetime gross of $6,626,136.